


chasing happiness

by dawned



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, I promise it's wholesome, hirugami sachirou deserves all the happiness in the entire universe, kotarou pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28465992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawned/pseuds/dawned
Summary: a story about a dog, a boy, and how lost things can still be found.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 85





	chasing happiness

My first memory is a cardboard box. For a few days, that was my world. It was lonely. 

My second memory is another box. A cage, they called it. There were rows of it in this place, also full of dogs like me. Lost and unloved.

Humans came and went. Sometimes they come close to my cage and observe me as if I was an object to be owned. It’s scary. I want them to stay away. So I bark until they do. 

Good. The corner of this metal box feels warmer than their judgmental eyes anyway. 

Until...

“Him. I want him!”

What’s with him? After all my barking, he still won’t leave me alone. I retreat to my corner, exhausted, refusing to entertain this little human any longer. If I ignore him, he’ll go away. They always do.

He doesn’t.

**********

“Kotarou, please come out! You need to eat!”

“Maybe he doesn’t like the name.”

“I think he’s just shy…”

Hours passed until I couldn’t bear the hunger any longer. I wait until the darkness and silence shield me before I emerge from my hideout under the table, letting my nose guide me to the food that the boy was so keen on feeding me. It’s good. I do my best to finish it quickly, afraid that the food would disappear if I don’t.

My ears pick up footsteps. I look around for the source, finding the boy, curious and hesitant, peeking behind a wall. I back myself up to a corner, increasing the distance between us. He approaches me slowly as I shrink myself to the floor, shivering uncontrollably.

He must have noticed since he backs up and goes back to his original spot, setting my food bowl nearby. “It’s okay. You’re still hungry, right? There’s more food here. I won’t bother you. I won’t even look—here.” He shifts his body away from me.

After observing him stay in the same spot for a time, I cautiously walk towards my food. I eat slowly, savoring it this time. Once I finish, I slowly move to the boy, curious about what kind of human he could be. He holds out more food in front of me. _Treats, since I know you’ve had a long day today,_ he says. I sniff these, deem them worthy to eat, and finish it in seconds, licking off the crumbs from his hand. He suddenly reaches out, and I flinch. My reaction causes his hand to freeze midair. 

I wasn’t ready to trust any humans. But we are never really prepared for life-changing moments, are we?

He tries to reach out again to pet me. For some reason, this time, I let him.

For the first time, I felt warmth. I was found. I was loved.

**********

Sachirou and I become inseparable, as much as the laws of this rule-maker called “society” would allow, anyway. Most days, he goes to this place called “school” but he spends his time with me afterwards. It was a system that took some time for both of us to adjust to, but in our moments of separation, all we both could think of was seeing each other again. 

I know him, and he knows me. We could always count on each other. What more could a dog want than unconditional trust with his chosen human?

Sometimes, he and his family play together. They call it “volleyball.” They toss and hit a ball around, and some of them get upset when it falls to the ground while the others celebrate. What a complicated game. They should just play a game where everyone is happy together the entire time.

I watch from the sidelines as they play, but I don’t mind it too much. Napping under the sun feels like bathing in happiness. I hope that’s what my presence is like to Sachirou. Happiness. A dog doesn’t want much. As long as Sachirou was having fun, that’s all that matters to me. 

Though, I do think I’m his favorite above volleyball. Just a dog’s intuition.

**********

Sachirou’s leaving me.

He tells me it’s for school, but I thought we already had a routine for this. He goes to school and comes home to me. That’s how it works.

So I keep whining, nudging him for answers, seeking the same warmth that I’d felt when he found me. He pauses what he’s doing and cups my head and gives it light scratches in an attempt to calm me. I quiet down to a whimper, though my fears are louder than ever.

“I’ll come back. I’ll visit as much as I can. Until then, you be good, okay?”

I don’t really know how to “be good.” But if that makes him come back quickly, then I’ll do anything.

**********

Sachirou comes back. He leaves again. This was the new routine.

Each time I see him, he becomes less of himself, replacing who he used to be with more volleyball. We used to spend an hour or so each day lazing around and enjoying each other’s company. He now uses that time to urge his siblings to practice with him, something he has never been proactive in doing before. Back then, his sister had to pry him away from me because she needed to “practice her spikes” with a “blocker.” Sachirou would complain that he was too short to make her practice productive and that she definitely just wanted to embarrass him. His sister Shouko-san would laugh and reply, “Then just get better.”

I guess that’s what he’s trying to do now. Be better. When he’s home, it’s all he talks about. _Teach me how to properly do a cross. I can’t seem to properly receive balls that have been blocked. How do I do a good serve?_

He still takes me out for walks and plays with me, but it feels like he does it out of obligation. Afterwards, it’s back to volleyball, volleyball, and more volleyball.

After watching the family play countless times, I learned that there will always be winners and losers in this game. Sachirou looks as if he is constantly defeated, even when he wins. I don’t like it. I don’t think he likes it either. Why does he keep doing things he doesn’t like?

It’s like when we play catch. He throws the ball, and I run towards it. In this instance, he looks like he’s chasing a ball that was never thrown, and he runs around aimlessly trying to find it. 

Sachirou was lost, and I don’t know how to find him.

The next time I see him, I am reminded of my past self. The me who was desperate for any semblance of warmth and love. The me who lost hope in obtaining it. The me whose entire world was a cardboard box.

I was not blessed with human speech, but even if I was, what was there to say? All I can do is welcome him home by leaping on his unsteady frame and nudging at his fingertips. He correctly reads the worry on my face and scratches my ears, just how I like it. But I am not the one in need of comforting.

“I’m okay, Kotarou. Don’t worry so much.”

Humans are weird. Why would they lie? Why would they say they’re fine if they’re not?

**********

I don’t like strangers. 

It’s why I bark when Sachirou comes home with a boy I’ve never met. I bark because I’m anxious in the presence of this unknown boy and how he could possibly hurt Sachirou or me. What if Sachirou gets worse than the last time I saw him?

However, Sachirou crouches down and pets my head as he tries to calm my heightened senses with that gentle voice of his. _It’s okay, Kotarou. He’s a friend. That’s Kourai-kun._

I quiet down, because that’s what Sachirou would want. But then, one glance at this “Kourai-kun” was enough to make me instinctively growl again. Sachirou shushes me, and I stop. I don’t want to do anything to make him unhappy. 

I finally got to take a good look at him. Sachirou looks... _different_. It’s as if he’s been granted freedom to run around and do as he likes. As if he’s no longer lost. I wonder what happened.

Apparently, this “Kourai-kun” person is going to be staying here during the entire weekend that Sachirou’s here. Shouko-san asks if there was “something going on between them.” Sachirou gives her his coldest, emptiest, most lifeless stare in reply. She snorts back, clearly either expecting this reaction or setting him up for it. I know Shouko-san never means any harm to Sachirou, so I let it slide.

The next morning after their arrival, “Kourai-kun” asks Sachirou to practice volleyball with him. I start growling, but immediately stop as Sachirou agrees, suggesting that his brother and sister join in for a “2v2” as well. The entire group takes off to their usual practice spot, and I remain watching by the sidelines, as I always do. There, I notice some things.

I still do not understand volleyball, but I think Fukuro-san and “Kourai-kun” are one team and Sachirou and Shouko-san are the other team. Next, “Kourai-kun” is really short compared to the three siblings, but he jumps really high. I could beat him if I tried, though.

Lastly, I notice Sachirou. He carries himself as if he was relieved of all the burdens he’s been shouldering on his own this whole time. He used to get upset at the little things in volleyball, but today was different. “Kourai-kun” hits a ball past his fingertips, and the ball flies off before landing on the floor, out of Shouko-san’s reach. I look at Sachirou’s reaction, concern starting to seep through me because I know that was a mistake that he would usually agonize over. Instead, he blinks then sighs at his friend’s direction.

“Well, nothing to be done about that now. I’ll get you next time, though.”

“You’re too calm sometimes, it’s kinda creepy,” his friend responds.

“That’s your fault, actually.”

“HUH?? What did I do??? Sachirou, what does that mean???!!!”

I wonder what it meant, too. Though I remember Sachirou has a tendency to tease people, a habit that he’s picked up from his older siblings, so I don’t think too much of—

Wait. Since when? When was the last time he’s done that? Was it because “Kourai-kun” was just easy to tease? Or did something happen between them? Was he also involved as to why Sachirou is different now?

The game continues and ends with Sachirou and Shouko-san’s loss, I think. “Kourai-kun” asks for extra practice, but Sachirou refuses, saying that he’d rather relax with me now after such an intense activity. I perk up, excited at the prospect of spending time with him after so long. His friend pouts, mumbling “rest is important too, I guess” and goes off with Fukuro-san and Shouko-san, who seem to both be quite taken with him and his excitement for volleyball.

As Sachirou and I walk around the neighborhood, I think about everything that’s happened today. Sachirou doesn’t look as pained about volleyball anymore. I don’t know what caused this, but my dog’s intuition tells me that it has something to do with that “Kourai-kun.” I guess there’s more to him than it seems. 

**********

Kourai-kun visits Sachirou a lot more now, especially after they both graduated middle school and Sachirou moved back home.

His multiple visits allowed me to get used to him over time and see that he is an “okay” person after all. He has a lot of energy, which means he can keep up with me and play with me longer. I also think Kourai-kun is shy like me. Sometimes, Sachirou would run into an old friend while they take me out for a walk, and I notice that Kourai-kun goes quiet. I don’t—I just bark until Sachirou waves goodbye at that stranger.

He’s picky about food, though, which I don’t understand. Food is food. Sometimes, he makes weird faces when he gets mad at Sachirou for giving him something he doesn’t like. It’s funny.

I like Kourai-kun. Of course, Sachirou is still the best. There’s no doubt about that.

Sometimes I join them and lay quietly on the floor while they watch reruns of volleyball matches. They both display enthusiasm over exciting moments and techniques, but I notice Kourai-kun’s investment outweighs Sachirou’s. I’m glad he’s having fun. He seems to be really happy with volleyball. I wish for his and Sachirou’s happiness in whatever they choose to do in the future.

**********

An incident happens one warm autumn day. 

Sachirou discovers a lost dog wandering by the entrance of the house. I don’t sense any danger, so I creep closer, sniffing at this little dog, trying to get to know him. He runs and hides behind Sachirou, shivering and frightened.

We both notice that the dog is skinny and must’ve not eaten in days. Sachirou brings some food in a bowl and places it in front of him. I maintain a distance and curiously observe as the dog rapidly devours the food, finishing it in a minute. He immediately drinks the water next to the food bowl, savoring every last drop.

Sachirou leaves for a moment to make a call. The dog wanders around, not knowing what to do. He starts suddenly wheezing and pukes out the food he had just eaten. I start barking, hoping to catch someone’s attention at this unexpected event. Sachirou comes back and, noticing the vomit, becomes alarmed and panicked. His mom appears right behind him and immediately grabs her keys, maintaining her composure. “Let’s go, Sachirou. Pick up the dog, and we’ll take him to the vet. I’ll let your dad take care of the clean-up.”

After a couple hours, they come back home without the dog. Apparently, it wasn’t such a good idea to feed the malnourished dog with so much food in such a short amount of time. Sachirou tells me that the dog was “microchipped,” meaning that the vet will be able to contact the owner as soon as they can. For now, the dog stays at the clinic until his owner picks him up.

The next day and the days after that, Sachirou contacts the vet clinic, asking for an update on the dog and if his owner has claimed him yet. He always ends the calls with a worried look, which can only mean a lack of good news.

After two weeks, Sachirou receives an unexpected call, to which he answers with no hesitation, already feeling breathless from the action itself. He listens quietly for a few minutes, then murmurs a quiet “thank you so much” before ending the call. He takes a deep breath, and I can hear the relief in his voice. I guess the dog’s been found, which is really nice.

Sachirou then glances at me with a troubled look as if he’s thinking of something beyond the present. I look at him curiously. _Sachirou, I’m okay. Why are you looking at me like that?_ After a few seconds, he blinks out of his trance and looks away, saying nothing more than a simple “Hmm.”

I wonder what that expression was about.

**********

Sachirou continues to play volleyball without a pained expression anymore. I think he and Kourai-kun win a school volleyball tournament, which their families made a big deal out of. Sachirou’s parents and siblings congratulate him, going all-out in the celebratory dinner. They look so pleased.

A few weeks before, Sachirou had read something from a piece of paper, which must have contained such shocking news judging from his face alone. His expression then shifted to the widest smile I’ve ever seen from him. He ran out of the room, excited to tell his family about his “acceptance to vet school.”

Humans are complicated. It’s funny how Sachirou looked happier over receiving that paper than the medal that hung on his neck, which his family was so excited about. Maybe what makes a person happy is different for another person.

**********

Sachirou stands at the front door, ready to leave.

I start whining. The last time he left, he came back looking utterly miserable. I don’t want that to happen to him again. I don’t want him to be sad anymore.

Noticing my growing anxiety, Sachirou hunches down and tries to explain the situation as best as he can.

“I’ll be fine this time, really. It’s going to be difficult, but this is something I want to do. I chose it. So this time, it will definitely be okay.”

I think I understand. But I still worry.

“You’ve been through so much with me, and I want to give animals the same happiness you’ve given me. Hopefully I’ve given you that happiness as well.”

I lick his face. He chuckles.

“I’ll miss you, you know?”

_Me, too._

He pauses, as if he was trying to hold himself steady against something that he knew would break him. 

“I love you, Kotarou.”

_I love you, too, Sachirou._

He gives me one last hug, lets me go, and straightens up, giving me one last scratch on my head. Then, he turns away. I think I heard a sniffle.

As I watch Sachirou’s frame shrink into the distance, I reflect on the concept of happiness. To me, happiness is Sachirou. Sachirou’s happiness is me, his family, his friends, and his dreams. Even if we have our objects of happiness, it wasn’t always full of pleasant experiences. Happiness must be something you constantly work for, not just something attained once. I’m sure that’s what Sachirou is doing—working for his happiness. I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that.

Well, I could be wrong, too. But there’s one thing that I am 100% certain about: I will always chase after Sachirou whenever he needs me.

**Author's Note:**

> new year, new me, new fic. never thought i'd ever be writing for this fandom (or any fandom really), yet here i am, attempting to write a fic for the first time. it might be awkward and cheesy, but i hope you enjoy it as much as i had fun writing it.
> 
> i had originally made this account specifically to publish another fic (it's still in the works, i'm having a tough time lol but i do want to see it through), but i came across a tweet that inspired me to write this whole thing. i'm not confident in my writing, and frankly, publishing this makes me really nervous, but sometimes you just have to try new things, right? huge thanks to kdad for being my emotional support and for the beta as well. i don't think this fic would've ever gotten past the drafts without them. T_T
> 
> i hope you all have a wonderful new year! find me on twitter @kitakitsunes


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